As much as I sometimes wish that my life would slow down, I truly enjoy it.
I like to plan ahead. I use my phone as my planner. If you pull up my calendar, you will likely see a little gray box on each day signifying that there is at least one event alert. Depending on the day, this either makes me smile, or sigh with dread. A week will usually consists of any of the following: dinner with my parents, worship practice, choir practice, church, date night, company for dinner, Life Group, trip to Smithfield to see the in-laws, football games, grocery shopping, a birthday event, a note to call a friend that I haven’t talked to in a long time, dinner with friends, golfing, fishing, girls night/day, etc…
These events make me happy, and I enjoy our life to the fullest extent by engaging in these activities (97% of the time, anyway.) But because I plan ahead and because our calendar is typically already full, the people that do not plan ahead (therefore, not making it onto the calendar) get very upset and guilt-trippingly-manipulative. And recently, I have discovered how very annoying that is. I don’t know that this is a good thing or not, but I have learned how to be selfish with my time and my energy. The older I get, the more demanding my life and relationships become, the more I realize that not everything is deserving of my energy. Oh man, how do I explain that even though this sounds heartless and I still don’t care…that I am truly not heartless? Well, here is the thing. I know myself, and I know how much is too much and when the line is crossed from being “Happy Stephanie” to “Overly Tired Stephanie”. I myself don’t like the overly tired version of myself…so why would I want to over do it and use energy if it is only going to turn into a not so wonderful event that leaves all included feeling short changed? I would rather you feel short changed because my schedule is full, than feel short changed because I was in a terrible mood while in your company, make sense? And for the record, I would prefer you not feel short changed at all….
All of that aside, I actually like being the type of person that plans, because that means I do not double book myself and my chances of keeping my commitment are a lot stronger than they used to be…prior to being a planner. Sure this takes away from being spontaneous and adventerous, but I save that for those rare days that we do not have plans. I love a Saturday with no plans on the calendar and being able to slowly start the day with Brad, and then having the ability to make up our own day together without having anything else to worry about. What I really like is that the main priority in my life is to make my husband happy, and to succeed in our marriage. Because when my focus is on that, nothing else matters.
The only down side? My blogging totally only has one topic….