I hate painting my finger nails. If it weren’t for having such an inconsistently busy job, I probably would not even paint them at all. Calls slow down, emails are either caught up or none are coming in, no projects, Solitaire gets unbelievably old…so I paint my nails. Sometimes I even paint my toenails.

Finger nails are the worst though. I type, I wash dishes, I pick up poop (with a bag of course), I use my fingers to style my hair, I give back massages, I pet my dog and these are just a small list of things that my hands encounter on a regular basis. My fingernails are in protest. I get chipping, shredding, breaking, bending and all that time I spend on my nail polish is a waste. Has anyone ever painted their nails red? That is absolute hardest color to paint nails and have them turn out looking good. Red nail polish stains and if you get it anywhere besides your nail, you may as well hang it up. Well I have kind of mastered the art of using red nail polish. You would think I would be happy about this, except that it makes me even more frustrated that a good paint job only lasts for a day before chipping. I am tired of being a girl.

I guess what all of this really boils down to is, I am tired of trying to be a pretty girl. I’m obviously a girl, nature has come up with a way to make that known without makeup.

I am tired of trying to have girly hands and toes. My hair has become a rat’s nest the longer it gets. My mascara runs and gives me dark circles that should not be there, at the very least, until after my first born. Regardless of the strides I have made in weight loss in the past, I am still overweight and I’m tired of trying to pull off cute outfits…all the while still unable to hide my rolls. I am tired of shaving my legs only for them to go unnoticed in the winter. I want beauty to be effortless. That’s all I really want.

I want my nails to be strong and the paint to stick like glue. I want my curls to be tame and consistent. I want eyelashes that do not need mascara, skin that does not need powder, eyes that pop without liner. I want food to be a means of survival and not this addiction that surpasses any illegal drug.
 
I want to be lazy, and I don’t want anyone to know about it.

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