Another long break and I’m back to update on more events. Brad had his surgery and it has been successful and somewhat low-key (12 lbs down). He has had some problems with nausea and has had a few instances of puking (more like dry heaving since there is nothing in there to come out) but that is really about it. There of course have been the usual discomforts that come from surgery in general, like the extra gas that you can feel moving around but can’t seem to walk enough to get it out, the inability to find a comfortable position for your body to sleep, the tightness and bruising where the actual surgical procedure was performed, etc. But all in all he has had more good days than bad days. Oh and did I mention he only had to stay one night in the hospital versus the normal two nights? He did really well and the nurses were really impressed.
The first few days of nursing my husband were a breeze. Water every 15 minutes? Sure, I can be your water nazi. You wanna eat something? Then you need to wait 30 minutes. It is time for you to take your medicine! You need a blanket? Sure! Hank needs to be walked a few times a day and fed twice, he’s out of water. You look pale, do you need a trashcan? Do the dishes, fold the laundry, vacuum and keep the bathrooms clean. Taking care of my husband is always my top priority, it’s just me and him and he deserves to be pampered. The problem has been that prior to his surgery he was determined to pamper me, his pregnant wife whom he wanted to just rest and take it easy. Along with that pampering came a ton of affection and closeness (my Love Language is physical touch), and that is something that I have indeed missed and even craved in this last week. I just want to be close to my husband, and I can’t. It’s amazing how quickly my attitude can change when I feel like my needs are not being met. That is of course my issue and not his in the least bit (especially in this situation), but it’s something that I’m definitely having to give my attention to and work out in my head, because he still needs help and I’m still his wife and marriage is ALWAYS about give and take, and right now it is my turn to give. One of the many things I have learned in my short 24 years is that just because you know something, you have knowledge of how something works; it doesn’t make the doing of the knowing any easier.
Autumn is moving around higher now, right about my belly button at this point. She is getting stronger and we can usually make her move when we want to. I will lie on the floor or on the bed and mom or Brad will put their hand on my tummy and she will kick them. I might have to bounce her a bit, but she’ll move…such a good mommy am I. The last time I went to the doctor Brad was in the hospital and couldn’t come with me. I made a special request on his behalf, he said to tell them that he just wanted to see a picture of his baby girl and they kindly took me into the ultra sound room and my daughter had her butt up against my belly button and was squirming away. So yes, it’s definitely a girl. Ha!
I have unfortunately scared Brad about the possibility of having post-partum depression for the simple fact that I asked him to please remind me next time we saw the doctor to tell him about the depression I experienced during the first trimester. Now he’s freaking out thinking that I’m going to go all dark cloud on him when the baby comes. I told him that it probably wouldn’t happen, but that I am going to do my best to be prepared if it does. I wasn’t prepared during the first trimester for the amount of depression I had and I wish I had of said something to the doctor then. I know of at least one friendship that I would still have had I been more prepared and knowledgeable about the possibility of being hit with it. Granted, friendships include 2 people and not just one, but apparently my down-in-the-dumps attitude was a turn off. It’s not exactly something that you can predict happening, being that it is brought on by hormones and chemical imbalances. So on that note, doctor must be given a heads-up.
We also scheduled my c-section at the appointment last week. I think depending on the position of the baby at that point I may want to push it further away to give her as much time as possible in there, but she is ahead of schedule in size anyway and we’ll just have to play it by ear. My zip lipped secret for the whole thing is that I’ll go into labor and actually be in pain when I get the spinal….so that way I’m not freaking out about it. I had to have a spinal after being readmitted after surgery for a spinal leak, and they had to put me under to do it because apparently I was Queen Freak Out. I’m thinking I don’t really want to be in a normal state of mind when they have to do it, because I’ll not be calm cool and relaxed (See Also: Queen Freak Out).
Well anyways, that’s about it for now. I’m ready for baby to be here, but also ready for her to not be. The longer she is in there the more selfish I can be with Brad. Then again, who wouldn’t want to gaze upon their beautiful baby girl as soon as possible?! Boy I am just so lucky….a husband whom I want all to myself and a beautiful baby girl on the way. My life is blessed.