I find it really difficult to blog when I’m going through things that I want to complain about. A lot of people use their blogs, Facebook’s, Twitters as a sounding board to complain and what not, and while that is fine for them (to each his own), that isn’t what I want to be known for in any online (or offline, for that matter) communities.

Autumn is walking now. She is almost 11 months old and started walking really well (ie. more walking than crawling) at 10 1/2 months. She is jabbering a lot and is really happy. She has 8 teeth now. She is saying mama, Dada, doggy, ducky, uh oh, grampa, hi, and she will quack, moo, and snort like a pig. She is so much fun right now and as long as she is not teething, tired, or hungry than she is an absolute joy to be around. We have so much fun with her these days and we’re trying to teach her everything. She’s such a sponge and soaking everything up. We have been leaving her with babysitters a lot lately and it’s working out pretty well. She has got to get used to the situation and Brad and I have got to start getting out some, so it works out. Money is always a problem in one form or another but so far we have been lucky enough to have teens that have asked not to be paid. But that’s not how I want to be, we aren’t mooches and we want to be able to pay our sitters for their services. They are worth it and Autumn is worth it.

I am down 40lbs now. It feels really good and I’m hoping to get some weights for my birthday so I can start doing some muscle toning. I’m going to have extra skin I am sure, but I’m hoping muscle toning will fix a lot of it. Food has lost its appeal for me almost completely and I would rather just drink ice-cold water all day long. There are a lot of foods that I used to like that I can’t eat now because they make me feel sick. I would be sad or upset about it, but I just don’t like food enough to care anymore.

I have been pretty apathetic about everything these days but my bright spot is every other week going to a bible study at a friend’s house. It’s wonderfully in-depth and detailed and Brad says he loves when I come home because I’m excited and animated and I tell him all about everything I learned. Lately I have been wanting to do a “read through the Bible in a year” kind of thing, but my $60 Bible doesn’t have a year plan. I think one of my old Bibles does…I’ll have to check it out. Brad has also been talking a lot about wanting to start doing study together and that makes me happy. It is technically an answer to prayer, and I’m happy about that. We’re going to start help teaching a “beginners” type class at church and I think that’s part of what has Brad so stoked about studying together. He said he’s never done anything like this and he can’t wait. It really makes me very happy. I love studying the Bible and discussing it with people. Ever since Nate left for college I lost my person to discuss the Bible with. We always had some really great discussions and he’s so knowledgeable…it was nice. BUT, I’m getting that back and I’m really excited for where that is going to take me and my relationship with Brad and with God. That’s a “Next Level” scenario if I ever heard one.

Speaking of Next Level, our Life Group is watching an Andy Stanley video each week. The series we are on these next 6 weeks is “It came from within” and it’s really good. Really challenging, but really good. It’s hard to sit there and listen to what he is saying because it hits home so much. There are a lot of hurts and issues that need to be dealt with. Not filtered, but actually dealt with. The challenging part is discovering what the issues are and how to effectively deal with them. How is hard. Really. Hard. But that’s life. And I need to be doing what I know I need to do. Whoever knows what he should do and doesn’t do it sins….so that’s where I’m at right now.