Due to my major lapse in blogging, you may notice I now have an almost 3 year old.
Where’d she come from?! Well, we know where she came from, but for as much as everyone seems to know about Autumn (first born syndrome) you may not know anything about AJ, or Amanda Jo. It depends on her mood of course whether she wants to be called one vs. the other. I love that she knows her name so completely she identifies specific emotions or moments with either name. That feels so adult to me. It reminds me of how we use middle names when reprimanding our children, or their full names instead of the nickname for them to show them our level of seriousness.
Amanda Jo is my super snuggle bug, she’s a Mamma AND Daddy’s girl and withholds nothing from us in terms of hugs, kisses, and affection. She was born the day before Autumn, and we celebrated Autumn’s 4th birthday in the hospital room. We decorated, had cake, and made Autumn feel as special as we could so that her new baby sister didn’t completely steal the show.
AJ is my moon. She brings balance to our family, she is the calm. For as wild, and silly, and for as large as her sass and temper are-she completes us. Autumn is bright as the shining sun, everything about her is bright and joyous and BRIGHT. (Did I mention bright?) But the moon lights up a dark sky…that’s my AJ. She’s bright too.
I fully believe that God knows what we need and He gives us nothing more than we can handle without Him. While I need Him daily as a mother, wife, and woman, He gave me these incredible girls that blow my mind every day. How did they turn out so incredible, their personalities so intricate, and perfect? How they make me laugh. How they exasperate me. How tenderhearted and compassionate they both are, and yet so very different. In these moments of contemplating my children and really just reveling in the amazing qualities of them both I realize that God did not give them to me for me, He gave them to me for Him. One day they will no longer be tiny little humans. They will be grown ups functioning in this broken world shining their brightness in whatever capacity God has for their future. It is then that I will be able to lay no claim to them, except to say they grew in me. I loved them. I taught them who God is. I’m so proud to call them mine, for now. I’m humbled God gave them to me for this life, this short time.
My dad just turned 56 years old in July. I will be 32 this year. I remember when my dad was my age. 32. I REMEMBER that. What does life look like for me at 56? Oh how these two children make me want to speed up time, to watch them grow, to see what the future holds. But for now I will savor every new thing. Every math problem solved, every difficult word sounded out, every concept understood, every sentence spoken, every funny conversation posted on Facebook, every night rocking to bed, every snuggle, every hug, and every kiss. These two have Brad and I a satisfaction I think we never anticipated. Strangely different than I ever expected. My two girls.